Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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