Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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