Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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