Nicole vs. Life
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
