I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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