i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
