yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
