Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
