Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
