Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
