hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
