It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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