you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
