how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
