I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
