i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
