she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize