i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
