When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
