would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
