Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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