How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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