the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
