So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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