My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
