i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
