You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth