either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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