Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize