she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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