TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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