omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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