She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
