Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
