Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wish they made helmets for livers.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
