hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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