She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
