Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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