the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
