no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
