dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Your penis caused this!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
