Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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