Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
