Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
