i think i have herpe
just one?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
