And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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