Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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