some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
