my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
do herpes really smell.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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