I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
