dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Please don't give away my fajitas
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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