thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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