I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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