Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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