do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
