my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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