Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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