Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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