Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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