Sponge bath it is.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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